Our van's great timing

What is it with vehicles and children?

You have something important to do or you need to get somewhere fast and they just go wrong.

It's like they have this inbuilt code that tells them to do something really bad at a really, really bad time.

For example. Quick! Mum's late for the nursery run. Let's both do a great big messy poo that goes right up our backs and all over our clothes!

Or, in the case of the van, let's belch out great big black puffs of smoke just before we are about to take the family and a quarter tonne of beautiful Morrocan pottery to our very good friends wedding in the wilds of West Wales.

Cue panic stations. Will the van get us there? Is the black smoke getting worse? Will the wedding guests have to eat their delicious scrumptious food off their laps?

Thankfully the van made it, but not without erupting a few cubic square meters of volcanic gases into the atmosphere and choking and blinding the unsuspecting motorists who were unfortunate enough to be down wind of us on our journey. Boy, West Wales is hilly and yes the black smoke is getting worse. Mostly when you drive up hill!

And the problem? Busted intercooler (read all about that here).

The van also tried to self destruct on our first family holiday away in it down in Dartmouth.

Me, heavily pregnant sat in the back with a tired toddler and two teenage boys up front are just about to enter Dartmouth when I start hearing a strange whining sound every time the husband shifts the van into third and fourth gear.

'Can you hear that?' I say.

All three boys in front. 'No.'

Husband adds. 'Stop panicking. You're hearing things. It's your pregnany hormones.'

Well I had heard carrying a baby gives you a super sense of smell, but heightened hearing was a new one on me.

The noise rumbled on and I begin picturing wheels falling off, engine blowing up and terrible accidents (now that is the blasted pregnancy hormones) until eventually even the boys (with the DJ Beats or whatever they're called muffling their ears) could hear it too.

Thankfully we get to the campsite and on inspection it's some loose hose, so off husband goes in search of the nearest garage who fit a jubilee clip to keep the pipe in place. How fitting since it was the year of the Queen's Diamond Jubilee.

But I could still hear the noise, and on our return home one test drive by the lovely vehicle technician at my favourite VW Commercial Van garage in Cheltenham confirmed it was the gearbox.

Gah. Great timing. Again! Just as I am about to go on maternity leave.

I suppose any time is not a good time for something to go wrong on the van, but is it just us that it always seems to happen at the worst possible moment?